Archive | July 2013

I definitely don’t have it all figured out

I don’t really have any pearls of wisdom at the moment, pretty involved in just ‘being’ in no specific way – not thinking too deeply about anything, trying my hardest not to over-think. What I do know, and I don’t think it’s just me, I have been comparing. I have been comparing myself to others.

In my own right I am happy with where I am and what I am doing. I am really having an amazing experience and amazing opportunity to see so much Italy and I still compare my life to others – I compare jobs, salary, relationship status. . . A friend I know went from in a relationship to pregnant and married in 1month. And I felt jealous, only because I don’t know if I will ever have that myself – completely different experience to my solo Italian adventure… But I still compare and need to stop.

I have had so much change in the last few years and change still scares me, sometimes I feel lonely, confused and scared… Sometimes I still feel damaged from the past, and then I realize the past is slipping further and further away and there is nothing I can do but stay where I am or move forward, and regardless of whether I am figuring out the meaning of my life or not I am moving forward.

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