Archive | September 2016

Mindfulness written reflection

TRY: seeing your on life this very day as a journey and as an adventure. 

Where are you going? What are you seeking? Where are you not. 

At what stage of the journey have you come to? If your life were a book, what would you call it today?

What would you entitle the chapter you’re in right now?

I’m going to India.
I’m looking for peace and clarity. I’m seeking to quieten my mind and to achieve a goal I’ve set out to. I’m seeking internal discovery. Whatever form that may come in. No matter what that may be.

I’m not where I thought I’d be when boarding this plane from Heathrow to Delhi. I thought I’d be utterly smitten, my heart filled with love, a love for a man who loves me back and has flown me around the world to make me his. Is this what they call divine timing? That which rips me wide open, empties me out and prepares me to be refilled. As a dear friend just told me, “sometimes the timing IS right.”

I’ve given 6 days to mourning the loss of this romantic love affair. A day for every month we knew each other. And now I’m done.

My India journey was never about anything but me and a promise I made to myself a year ago. I think to myself, what if I’d spent a portion of my trip being in touch with him, sharing with him. Only for things to crash and burn when I got back home, all the India experience undone. Taken from me. Sometimes the timing is right.

If my life was a book, today I’d call it: (as I always have and always will) “a dancer in the rain”
I’d call this chapter: Reset. India.

Trust the timing of your life.

India. Let’s do this.

‚ÄčIt’s all a part of your story

Love enters your life. Sweeps you up and takes you on wild careless adventures. Love carries you then drops you on your face. Left broken and ashamed for giving all that you’ve got. 

Of these love stories, I’ve got enough. It’s all in the lessons and learning to rise up.

I followed my heart, far from home. From Durban to Berlin to London. Far from any comfort zone. 

He surprised and amazed me when he appeared in my life. Out of 1 universe, 9 planets, 204 countries and 7 seas – he found me. I thought he was my guy.

 I thought he was strong and real and understanding. I thought I claimed a precious place in his heart. I thought our connection would overcome anything. Then all of a sudden it became really dark.

He let me down.
We pushed eachother away and he left me standing helpless in the doorway.

I trusted him. Someone who was once a stranger is a stranger again.

If I could turn back time, I don’t know what I’d change. Perhaps I’d have had the difficult conversations. The ones we tip-toed around and ignored.
I would realise that what’s strong is also fragile. Anyone can turn on you at the drop of a hat. Nothing is guaranteed, everything is transient, but what’s life without taking that chance?

Experience is the hardest kind of teacher. It gives you the test first and the lesson afterwards.

It’s all a part of your story.